It’s late at night and everyone is sleeping soundly until you are very suddenly awakened by your child’s shrill scream. You have never heard anything like this scream and your heart is in your throat. You jump out of bed and run down the hall to their bedroom open their door and they are sitting in bed screaming. A blood curdling scream like no other you have ever heard! You rush to their bedside and immediately try comforting them and start doing everything and anything you can possibly think of to help but they are not calming down at all. In fact, they don’t even seem to notice you are there. They are staring right through you like you aren’t even there yet still calling your name. A little scary for a parent, which is why I used to make my husband come in with me. Although it can be traumatic as a parent, the good news is your child will have zero recollection of the event.
It can be difficult for some parents to distinguish between a nightmare and a night terror. A nightmare is a bad dream. With a nightmare the child will most likely wake up, cry and once you enter the room, they will either climb into your lap, hug you, or start talking right away. They will see you, acknowledge you are there and calm with your presence.
A night terror on the other hand, is when your child wakes up from sleep screaming inconsolably and does not even know that you are there. A night terror usually lasts 5-10 minutes but can last up to 30 minutes on some occasions.
A child who is having a night terror might do the following:
There are some factors in your child’s everyday life that may contribute to night terrors. Some of the more common reasons are:
*Sleep terrors tend to run in families and may be paired with sleepwalking
Although it sounds opposite to what your instincts are telling you to do….Sit beside them and comfort them with your soothing voice without attempting to pick them up, or wake them. Attempting to end the night terror can make it last longer. It will end sooner if you let it run it’s course. Typically your child has no idea that you are there but you still want to be present for them so that you can prevent them from thrashing and harming themselves. Sometimes they may wake up at the end and that is when your presence will help to calm them if they are distraught. Most children experiencing a night terror will quickly go back to sleep after as if it never happened.
Making some small adjustments can help reduce or eliminate night terrors all together.
To really get a handle on night terrors it is important to start logging and really look for a pattern - how often, when and how long they last can be useful information to share with your doctor but also for your own digging. Log everything in your child’s day to see if there are any links from what they ate, played with, watched or did that day.
Once you see a clear pattern, you can try partially waking them before the night terror typically happens to help them transition into another sleep cycle. This can eliminate the night terror all together.
Night terrors can be quite common in children, which is why it would be beneficial to find a support person that you can talk to you and discuss your specific situation in hopes of finding a solution.