Expectations of Newborn Sleep

Congratulations! You have spent so much time preparing for your little one and they are finally here and in your arms. Now, let the fun begin!

Although there are a few things you can do to help shape newborn sleep, your main focus will be to just go with the flow. When we say newborn, we are talking about babies in the 0-3 or 4 month stage. Sleep during this phase can be random and unpredictable as far as when they fall asleep as well as how long they sleep for. You may get a 2 hour siesta one day and 30 minute cat nap the next. There is no exact schedule and one day can be very different from the next.

(Most) Newborns sleep a lot

Most newborn (fresh out of the oven) babies will sleep a lot during the day. Unless you have a baby that has a medical condition such as acid reflux etc. Then, they may not sleep at all. Do not worry if your newborn is sleeping 16-18 hours out of 24. This is completely on track and this is what you want! You may hear people telling you to keep your baby awake all day so that they sleep longer at night. Resist the temptation to follow this advice as it can cause more harm than good! You do not want your baby to become overtired, as this will actually cause them to struggle to fall asleep and stay asleep.

Make sure baby isn’t awake for too long

The biggest piece when helping your newborn sleep is to be aware of how long he or she is awake for in-between naps. A newborn should only be awake for 45-60 minutes - that’s it. Some babies will naturally fall back asleep within that time while others will need more help drifting off. Keeping the amount of time your newborn is awake for to a minimum will help them achieve that 16-18 hours of total sleep they need without causing them to become overtired.

Recognizing your baby’s cues

This may seem overwhelming but once you bring your baby home, you are with them 24/7 for the first little while. You will learn very quickly how to distinguish what they need by their different cries and sounds. In conjunction with watching the clock for the time, try to learn your baby’s unique cues that they show you before they become overtired. Once you see those cues, find your go-to soothing technique to get them to sleep. Some of the more sensitive over stimulated or fussier, colicky babies may need some trial and error to find the right soothing technique. These babies may need a combination of soothing methods.

Prepare for some hormonal changes

With the arrival of a new baby comes a range of emotions as well as some hormonal changes. You are so in love, you can barely take it! You may cry one minute out of absolutely nowhere and be laughing the next. Adjusting to your own lack of sleep may also cause some extra emotions and anxieties. And when your baby is finally sleeping, you may find that you are awake worrying about everything under the sun!

Be aware and accept this as a part of the process of having a new baby. Prepare your partner for all of this, as well as the fact that you may need to call on them in the middle of the night for some help if need be. Even if your partner works the next day, they can still help. You also have a new baby that you are caring for 24/7, which is a demanding task as well. Don’t be afraid to ask for help!

Consider make an arrangement with your partner so that they can have an evening shift with the baby while you get some sleep so that you can feel somewhat refreshed to take over the overnight wakings.

It’s okay that your baby needs you!

Many babies need their parents’ warm bodies and the sound of their heartbeats to be able to settle. You may have to do whatever you need to do to survive including wearing your baby, which is common at this stage. Just because your baby does not want to sleep on their own just yet, does not mean that you are doomed forever.

For this reason, some families choose to bed share, which is a personal preference. However, if you choose this route, we want to ensure that you are doing it safely.  

Sleep associations

It is impossible to keep your very newborn baby from falling asleep while eating. This is what they do, they eat and sleep. Trying to keep them awake while eating or expecting them to fall asleep on their own without your help in the very beginning is a moot point. However, once they are between 2-4 months of age, consider feeding your little one after naps instead of before. Once they are out of the very newborn stage, you can also start to attempt to put them down in their bassinet once per day and move forward from there. Please know that there are no ‘bad’ habits at this age!

No two babies are the same

No two babies are the same so comparing your newborns sleep patterns with a friend or family member’s baby will not help you in any way. Yes, some babies come out sleeping long stretches at night, but it does not mean that there is something wrong with your baby if they do not. The majority of newborns are up several times per night for the first couple of months and you can expect to see that extend into some longer stretches around 2-3 months of age.

Take some time for yourself

We understand how difficult this is. You have just brought home this tiny baby, you feel exhausted and overwhelmed. Telling you to take time for yourself is easier said than done. However, we cannot stress how important this factor is for both you and your baby. This does not mean that you have to leave home if you are not comfortable with that. Perhaps just set 20 minutes aside to take a warm bath or lie in bed and watch a show or read a book/magazine that makes you happy. When your baby is really young, start with a few minutes and build upon that, as they get a little bit older. Taking time to rejuvenate will do a lot of good for you, which in turn will do a lot of good for your baby.

The fact of the matter is newborns need you! They may not sleep at the times you want them to sleep at they may need to sleep on you or with your comfort for the first couple of months. That’s just newborns. It is important for you to lower your expectations about your fresh baby’s sleep habits, stop comparing and go with the flow as much as possible.

Try not to stress too much and enjoy the time spent building a bond with your new little squish. You are in survival mode and will do what you can to get through the first few months. Just know that you can help them sleep a little more independently once they are a bit older and ready for the changes. With all of that being said, if you are feeling overwhelmed and need more guidance know that our expert help is always there.